My Fun Mela

Monday, March 23, 2009

Boss Kidnapped

Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are inloud discussions during office time.....
Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happenedto a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?
""Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"
They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going todouse him with petrol and set him on fire.Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happenedto a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?
""Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"
They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going todouse him with petrol and set him on fire.We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?..................
"About 1 litre."

Cute Questions asked by Kids

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"

*******
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

*******
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
*******

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
*******
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
*******

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
*******

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"
*******
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
*******
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "mine says I'm four to six."
*******

A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'." *******

Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
*******
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child."No," said another, "he's just for good luck."A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs,"she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants...
*******

Wife was cheating

A guy thought his wife was cheating on him. So he waited for her to leave that night and jumped in a cab to follow her. By following her he found out she was working in a whorehouse.

The guy says to the cabbie, "Wanna make a $100?" The cabbie says, "Sure, what do I have to do?".

The guy replied that all the cabbie has to do was go inside the whorehouse and grab his wife and put her in the back of the cab and take them home. So the cabbie goes in.

A couple of minutes later the whore house gets kicked open, and the cabbie is dragging this women out who is kicking, biting, punching, and fighting all the way to the cab. The cabbie opens the door to the cab, throws the girl inside, and tells the man, "Here hold her!!"

The man looks down at the girl and says to the cabbie, "THIS AIN'T MY WIFE".
The cabbie replied, "I KNOW, IT'S MINE; I'M GOING BACK IN FOR YOURS!!".

HIS DIARY V/S HER DIARY

Here is good example of Diff between Men and Women..... Her Diary

******* Day night, I thought he was acting

Weird. We had made

Plans to meet at a

Cafe to have some coffee. I was

Shopping with my friends

All day long, so I

Thought he was upset at the fact that I

Was a bit late,

But he made no

Comment.Conversatio n wasn't flowing so

I suggested that

We go somewhere

Quiet so we could talk, he agreed but

He kept quiet and

Absent.I asked

Him what was wrong - he said,

"Nothing."I asked him if

It was my fault

That he was upset. He said it had

Nothing to do with me

And not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved

Him, he simply

Smiled and kept

Driving. I can't explain his

Behavior; I don't know

Why he didn't say,

"I love u,too."When we got home I felt

As if I had lost

Him, as if he

Wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat

There and watched TV.;

He seemed distant and absent.Finally I

Decided to go to

Bed. About 10

Minutes later he came to bed. I decided

That I could not

Take it anymore,

So I decided to confront him with the

Situation but he

Had fallen asleep.I Started crying and cried

Until I too Fell asleep. I

Don't know what to

Do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts

Are with someone

Else. My life is a

Disaster.

.

.

.

.

.

Now read His diary

*******

Today India lost the cricket match

Against England at Mumbai.

DAMN IT. ******* NOW that's called , Simplicity of Men Vs Complexity of Women :)

******

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Life Before Computers................!

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor used profanity

And a keyboard was on a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age

And a CD was a bank account

And if you had a corrupted disk

It would hurt when you found out!

Compress was what you did to garbage

Not something you did to a file

And if you unzipped anything in public

You'd be in jail for a while!

Log on was adding wood to a fire

A hard drive was a trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And a backup happened to the commode!

Cutting, you did with a pocket knife,

Pasting, you did with glue.

The Web was where a spider lived

And a virus was the flu!

**********